Dear David
I need you more than anything. I’m so lost, everything inside me is falling apart and I no longer know what to do, or who to talk to. Because everyone is just looking for an answer to the problem, try to make me think positively. But the thing is. I have the answer, I know the truth but it scares me.
I don’t want it to be true, not my truth. I’ve been late on everything in life. I started to walk when I was 5, I understood a book for the first time when I was 14, even if I could read before I even stared school. (just not put the sentence together and understand what I’ve just read)
But this.. isn’t just developing late, this is me finding another missing part of me. That I now, with the truth infront of me, wish I never found.
And to only read ’I feel sorry for you’ where ever I turn, doesn’t make it better.
If anything is a phase in my life, I really hope this thing is, because it kills me. Or should I say, the people around me. "Thanks" to them, the earth we live in and the norms, it makes me feel the way I feel. If it wasn’t for that, I’m really happy with my life, except I don’t want to end up alone, but who does.
I don’t feel that I’m missing out on anything, that I need that ONE close, 24/7. But according to them, it seems like I do. That connection, the one you has to have, is no longer there. I think I’m in heaven, but it turns out to be a hell, every singel time. If I only knew someone like me, someone that understod.
I’m sorry summer. I might talk to you tomorrow
Lot’s of love M